Hey Miss, where are the corn pads?

So I went to Target to buy a sympathy card. As weird as that may sound, I really like the selection of cards they have there. Low on the glitter (glitter does not belong on a sympathy card as my friend John would say), low on the overly cutesy or religious. Then of course because I was at Target, I ended up buying a bunch of other things.

As I’m walking around the store, people keep stopping me and asking me where things are. Since I shop there pretty regularly, I knew most of the time. I didn’t think anything about it at first. For a long time now, I get this in stores. Occupational hazard, I’ve always chalked it up to. If you walk like you know where you’re going, people will assume you do. Also, when I worked at retail jobs, customers sometimes recognized your face and remember you as being a clerk, but not from where. It could get bizarre though. I was once in a drug store and some old guy wanted to know where the corn pads were. I declined all knowledge and he started in on how I should know where things were if I worked there. He then accused me of lying when I said I didn’t work there.

Anyhow, so back at Target. Busy day and all and people keep asking me things. Finally some girl noticed that I had a cart with me. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you were off your shift.” I looked down and realized the problem:

You really don’t want to wear a red shirt and khaki slacks to Target…

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