Stress – Day 193

There are a bunch of things I don’t handle well when it comes to food. Two that immediately pertain to the last two weeks involve travel and stress.

Last week was mostly about travel. I brought healthy snacks. I had all kinds of plans. And then I got to my destination and oh boy. I did not make the best choices and well, I felt awful for it.

It’s funny. I’ve been reading and participating in the forums of myfitnesspal and there’s a lot of debate about “healthy” in terms of weight loss. Healthy food and calories in/calories out are really two separate concepts that can intersect or not. You can lose weight on a diet of Big Macs and hot fudge sundaes as long as you burn more calories than you consume.

While I really, really want to lose weight, that’s not my only motivation. I want to feel better. I want to be healthier and hot fudge sundaes are not going to help me with that goal. Nor in the case of my travel, will brimming glasses of wine and full plates of buffet food.

As I have been doing over the last six months, I made sure that I had my grocery list good to go. I had meal plans. All of which was great and then this weekend this all kind of devolved. So now I’m going on six days of poor choices. My insomnia has come roaring back. I’m tired. I feel awful.

The other big trigger for me is stress. I won’t go into the reasons why, but let’s just say I am feeling pretty fragile. And then what happens is I start to eat. There’s no enjoyment. There’s no savoring. It’s just me eating my feelings to feel better. That lasts about 10 minutes and then I feel worse.

I am trying to tell myself that at least it’s better that I am conscious of what I’ve been doing. That I can get past this. That I can get back on the horse. I am trying. But it’s not easy.

One response to “Stress – Day 193

  1. The fact that you are conscious of it is tremendous progress.
    That’s what I tell myself anyway! Don’t lose heart, and move onwards.